@usedwigs: The hardest part of the day after running a marathon is finding ways to work it into every single conversation you have.
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@IAmKatieOrr: I wonder if both Wright Brothers were behind their inventions, or it was just one & their mother yelling "Wilbur, you include your brother!"
@ibid78: Momma bird: welcome to the world! Baby bird: thx! M: for the next few months instead of food, I'ma just throw up in your mouth. B: wait what
@HomeProbably: If someone overtakes me when I'm walking, I match their speed so it looks like I've got friends.