@iinkedZombie: The horn quit working in my truck, so I'm hanging out of the window revving this chainsaw at pedestrians.
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@lejessica: I like to have a glass of water around to make sure there aren't any dinosaurs approaching.
@fro_vo: [on a speed date] (okay don’t let her know you’re a zombie) “so, what do you like best in a woman?” BRAAAIIINNNSS
@OneStopComedy: Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
@ChicorelliStar: I love a room with a fire place it sets the tone for a romantic night, drinking wine slow dancing, burning evidence.