@mydaughtersarmy: The horror and trauma of explaining homosexuality to a child, as told by an internet mom.
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@_xLNc: My girlfriend left me for a hindu guy. Anyway, he'll treat her better - they worship cows.
@DontTouchMyWine: Standing in the liquor store, trying to decide if tonight's dose of self-loathing and regret should have a screw-top or a cork.
@ParkerTheKing: I will do a lot of things but admiting I'm cold to my mom when she told me to bring a jacket is not one.