@TheDailySchmuck: The horror of hearing the anesthesiologist say, "YOLO," as he puts you under.
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@Tmoney68: I should have known my son was stealing from his road construction job, but every time I came home I guess I just ignored all the signs.
@gruffybeard: 9: Daddy, wanna hear something cool? Me: Sure! 9: *tells story* Me: Ok, well clearly we need to work on how you define "something cool".
@Kalarlis: When the cashier asks for my signature, I just write "HELP ME" while maintaining eye contact