@garrettbarry70: The hotel has a live band and my favourite song is "We're going for a break now, we'll be back later"
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@DaddyJew: Interviewer: what interests you about this job? Me: the pay Interviewer: can you be more specific? Me: cash
@longwall26: To catch a grandpa, you must THINK like a grandpa *eats butterscotch candy, clicks on obvious spam email*
@AJemaineClement: Good one computer geniuses, you made everything "user friendly" and "intuitive" and now idiots are on the internet commenting on everything.
@KKAlThani: *trips a girl and catches her* Haha looks like you're falling for me *winks* *gets slapped*