@WritePlay: "The house always wins," muttered Dorothy as she stared at the witch's crushed body.
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@RandiLawson: Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones
@Crutnacker: Biden: Trump's sons were nice Obama: Considering you called them the Menendez brothers all day B: Uday and Qusay?
@LinajkReturns: If he buys your drink, but you're really not interested? Smile at him, thank him and then stick the olive up your nose.
@JamieGreenlees: I don't hate you, but if you we're drowning, I would dive in and handcuff a piano to your neck.