@WritePlay: "The house always wins," muttered Dorothy as she stared at the witch's crushed body.
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@nerdreign: Preparing a work evaluation for someone who adds shit to my day on a regular. Wondering if "inbred whackadoodle" paints a full picture.
@GrandadJFreeman: Girls are like police. Even when they get a hold of all the evidence, they still want to hear the truth from you...
@StrawburyDelite: Apparently, my office doesn't think the women's restroom needs a tampon disposal, so wrapped it up and put it in their suggestion box.
@ItsAndyRyan: Convince neighbours you're shrinking by walking past their window with progressively larger jars of hellmann's mayonnaise.