@WritePlay: "The house always wins," muttered Dorothy as she stared at the witch's crushed body.
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@johnnyw1981: As I lay my phone down to sleep, I pray my brain won't think of tweets. If I die before I wake, I pray and hope my phone to break.
@AGStr8upNinja: How to be a Canadian: 1) Love hockey 2) Use good manners 3) Drink Tim Hortons 4) Live in a igloo 5) Hunt moose with stick
@PaigeKellerman: I'm never a more ineffective parent than when I accidentally make threats that rhyme.