@shariv67: The human body can survive three weeks without food, three days without water but only three hours without wifi.
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@JazzJazzybc: Lord, give me patience because if you give me strength then I'm gonna need some bail money on the side.
@literalporn: WHITE PEOPLE COLONIZED AND ENSLAVED THE WORLD IN SEARCH OF SPICES AND DIDN'T USE A DAMN ONE
@XplodingUnicorn: [watching "Cinderella"] 5-year-old: Why does she keep cleaning the floors? Me: Her stepsisters make her. 5: She should just buy a Roomba.
@Playing_Dad: Follow your dreams. Search through your dreams mail. Show up drunk on your dreams doorstep. Kidnap your dreams. Never let your dreams go.