@briangaar: The human body is 70 percent water?? *looks at a glass of water* damn girl
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@Kyle_Raney: DATING TIP: Girls love sensitive guys. Loudly wince when she touches you. Re-apply sunblock 38 times. Bring up how often your gums bleed.
@DanMentos: ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking... and this [copilot starts sick beatbox] is your captain rapping ALL OUT OF FUEL ALL OUT
@LetMeStart: My kids are yelling so incoherently at one another it sounds like they're naming IKEA furniture.