@Taryn_: The human body is 90% water so we are basically just cucumbers with anxiety.
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@iLikeCatShirts: When someone tries to tell me they can't do something, I'm like "you ever hear of the Power of Grayskull?"
@Andrea__B__: I'm always just a bit disappointed when a liars pants don't actually catch on fire.
@Merman_Melville: Apple watch, loudly: "It is time for you to poop" Me: "A-as I was saying, our investors h-" Watch, louder: "It is your optimal poop time"
@GensPlace: Online dating has its good points. You can choose your own name, lie through your teeth and you can't smell their breath.