@Taryn_: The human body is 90% water so we are basically just cucumbers with anxiety.
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@MikeMcNeil_: wife: "HOW ARE WE OUT OF ICE AGAIN?" me: "DUNNO," I yell from the bathroom; the penguin and I can barely contain our laughter.
@dreamthievin: Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I'm not sure what it means.
@zachreinert03: One time I saw a duck get hit by a wonder bread truck and that's pretty much why I try not to get too ambitious