@theshamingofjay: The human soul weighs 1.2lbs. I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into my job
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@foodfacenow: Interviewer: What drives you? Me: The bus mostly Interviewer: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning? M: missing the bus
@tweetofclay: That's so nice of Activia to offer a money back guarantee. Am I supposed to send them pictures of myself not shitting?
@StellaRtwot: When I hear "This call is being monitored for quality assurance" I think "Cool, let's see how bad this person wants their job."