@dog_feelings: the human. who snuggled. my human. the other night. is here again. BUT. this time. however. they brought. my fren and i. treats.. we approve
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@Chumpstring: SON: can I yell bomb at the airport DAD: no SON: I can yell boom DAD: boom's ok SON: how about "my mom's a lesbian now" DAD: please don't
@pixelatedboat: Me: It’s a hat store, but on the blonkchain *Investor hands me $30 million* Investor: Wait ... did you say “blonkchain”? Me: *runs*
@UncleDuke1969: I'm white, but... Nope. Can't do one of those today. Look, I'm at a B&B on Cape Cod right now. I'm a fanny pack away from translucent.