@tdawks: The hurt I feel when someone leaves the bus seat next to mine for a newly empty one is almost exactly equal to my annoyance when they don't.
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@SaraESpivey: I may eat animals, but at least I wait until they're DEAD. Plants are ALIVE, vegans. You disgust me.
@bigmacher: When my wife sends me to the grocery store solo with a specific list I am not allowed to improvise. That was made clear when I got home.
@PaigeKellerman: I'm never a more ineffective parent than when I accidentally make threats that rhyme.
@CornOnTheGoblin: "Did you remember to take the dog out?" Ah crap, I forgot [Dog storms in] I sat at the restaurant for HOURS