@IAmMaggieMull: The idea that someone would be upset NOT to be invited to a wedding is so confusing to me.
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@RuinMyWeek: If I learned anything from Peter Pan, it's that I can leave my dog to watch my kids while I go out and party.
@Marlebean: Fun game: Text your mom on Thanksgiving afternoon "How many minutes do I microwave a 25lb frozen turkey?"
@UncleDuke1969: "I'm not angry, just disappointed. You need to try harder. This is important! Do I make myself clear?" "Sorry, sir. Here's your ketchup."