@DanMentos: the idiots at NASA just hit Jupiter with one of their fireworks
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@gm_cage: My 8 yr old son just told me Nutella is a delicious mix of nuts and umbrellas. He's ready for Twitter.
@daemonic3: Son, always wait 30 minutes after eating before swimming "But dad we're goldfish" Oh yeah, I forgot "Forgot what?"
@novicefather: Picked up our Christmas tree from the lot today AND my wife hasn't shaved in 3 weeks. Noble fir in the streets. Noble fur in the sheets.