@DaveSirus: The Illuminati is the belief that the most powerful ppl on Earth are in a conspiracy to leave giant clues that they're part of a conspiracy.
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@djr_102: I broke up with a girl once by leaving a note on the front door that simply said: "Love doesn't live here anymore, and now, neither do you."
@timdonakowski: Naming your child “Roger” is fine, until you have to tell someone about it over a two-way radio.
@Izianikapani: So if you eat what you like and don't exercise, eventually you get a motorised scooter. I'm really not seeing the down side here.
@TheBoydP: The worst kind of insomnia is snoring induced insomnia. That's when every time you start snoring your wife shoves you awake...