@DaveSirus: The Illuminati is the belief that the most powerful ppl on Earth are in a conspiracy to leave giant clues that they're part of a conspiracy.
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@EndhooS: [1st date, don't let her know you're a panda] "Do u mind if I ask how you got the um *gestures at eyes* These? I..*rubs neck* cage fighting
@SadPeruna: Sorry about your lost dog. If you liked it, then you should've put a leash on it. If you liked it, then you should've put a leash on it.
@ThisOneSayz: *coworker stares at me as I unpack lunch* Me: leave CW: why? Me: I'm never bringing a banana to work again, okay Todd!?!?
@shutupmikeginn: Mentally fistfighting everyone I pass on sidewalk (watched action movie earlier) my record is 33-10 but to be fair I walked by a school.