@SonOfCha: The important thing to remember is that nobody asked you.
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@sarcasticmommy4: I hate it when I go to hide out from my kids in the walk-in closet & my husband is already in there hiding out from me.
@usedwigs: Want to send a 4-year-old boy into a blind rage? Repeatedly tell him he’s wrong and you are positive their names are “Batman and Robert”.
@panmidwest: [Calling concert venues across the country] Hi yes, I'm just calling to let you know that on your website you spelled "weekend" incorrectly
@leechee420: The package says "Do not eat raw cookie dough" but all I really see is "Pillsbury hates you and doesn't want you to be happy."