@kelkulus: The Indian version of "How I Met Your Mother"is just a single episode called "I Met Her At Our Wedding".
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@sixfootcandy: (first date) Me: *hyperventilating* Him: Don't be nervous. Take a deep breath. Me: Can't. I'm wearing three pairs of Spanx.
@TheCatWhisprer: Hello Darkness, my old frie- *the lights suddenly turn on* oh it's like that now?
@LoveNLunchmeat: So many women brag about finding chips in their cleavage... But if you really want to impress a man, you pull out a meatloaf.
@markydoodoo: *gets tax refund* *calls zoo* Hello, how much to rent an otter for the day? Please say less than $47. Hello?