@kelkulus: The Indian version of "How I Met Your Mother"is just a single episode called "I Met Her At Our Wedding".
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@Mickey_McCauley: Flirtation tip: glue a dead wasp to your hand before the date, then snatch at the air beside her head and show her the wasp. Say "close one"
@Fat_Jalbert: [trailer] Narrator: THIS SUMMER, KEVIN HART Me: oh no Narrator: GUESS WHAT HE'S DOING Me: another cop m- Narrator: ANOTHER COP MOVIE
@MartaEffing: I paid 4 the lady in front of me @ Starbucks. She hugged me. Deciding when it's the right time 2 tell her I hit her car in the parking lot.
@KyleMcDowell86: [Old lady] Please dont pet my dog. She's a service dog [Me] Omg I'm so sorry (stands up straight & salutes dog) Thank you for your service