@weinerdog4life: The instructions for this tent is just a picture of a husband yelling at his wife, that's weird.
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@noog: My favorite part of the Bible is when God gives humans free will, then kills them with a flood because they didn't act the way he wanted.
@dafloydsta: [first day working at Viagra] BOSS: We need a new slogan. ME: *sweating* This is really hard. BOSS: You're a goddamn genius, Johnson.
@SortaSarcastic: She promised to teach me wax on, wax off. Only now my chest is bare, I'm frightened of candles, and pretty sure I still don't know karate.