@onelongbender: The international address of Twitter
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Apparently "cool story, bro" is not an acceptable substitute for "congratulations" when your friend calls and tells you she's pregnant.
@DrDogMD: PATIENT: I've been so stressed out lately. What can I do? DR DOG (tail wagging like crazy): Studies show that petting dogs relieve stress
@AimeeHelene1: I bought a white bathrobe and splattered it with red paint just to freak out my neighbors when I go get the mail.
@NoFlipFlops: Whoa. The house telephone thingy just rang. Couldn't remember what to do so I stopped, dropped and rolled.