@StephenAtHome: The Internet makes things so convenient. Before it existed, if you wanted to order a DVD online, you had to invent the Internet.
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@WilliamAder: Usually takes me two or three tries to correctly aim the remote at the TV, if anyone was thinking of challenging me to a duel.
@neiltyson: What would aliens say if told that Earthlings shift clocks by an hour to fool themselves into thinking there's more sunlight
@ruinedpicnic: Humans pretend to be smart but we still look at the ceiling when we hear a noise upstairs like we're suddenly gonna have x-ray vision
@Robinbuble: If you post a handstand photo of yourself at the beach in Uggs you're automatically entered into an essay contest on why you love your Jetta