@Kyle_Lippert: The inventor of Chapstick died today. Unfortunately his body was lost while being transferred to the morgue.
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@flashember: [Cop arresting a centipede] *clink* *clink* *clink* *clink* *clink* *opens crate of new handcuffs* *clink* *clink* *clin
@KevinBuffalo: When my cousin came out as gay, his parents wanted him to see a psychiatrist. Which is too bad. Cuz he was already seeing a handsome lawyer.
@jonnysun: the next time u see a fork in the road, just try to remeber that at least, no mater wat u did, u werent the person who tried to eat the road