@LurkAtHomeMom: The inventor of Gogurt has died. He would like you to open his urn along the dotted line and splatter half the ashes all over your shirt.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ceejoyner: a daycare dad cut me off in the parking lot so I went early yesterday and taught his kid how to ride a bike you can never get that back
@TallDarkHandsy: Told my 4 yo that his hamster died and that was in heaven with God. 4yo: Why would God want a dead hamster?
@flashember: [writing last will and testament] and to Oliver i leave my "Why I Taught Bears To Use Swords" memoir BEAR: [from outside] FIGHT ME U COWARD
@NicestHippo: BEAR JUDGE: Counsel, this is your last warning, you cannot-- LAWYER: *plays dead* BEAR JUDGE: Where did he go