@LurkAtHomeMom: The inventor of Gogurt has died. He would like you to open his urn along the dotted line and splatter half the ashes all over your shirt.
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@tastefactory: Tattoos are a nice way to forever honor loved ones, like family members who have passed away, or skulls with bat wings that have passed away
@TEXASVETERAN: Finishing up my time machine. Bolting down the flux capacitor now. I'll start small and go back a couple of seconds just to see if it works.
@shanethevein: The best thing about Twitter is that I can reveal my deepest and darkest secrets and you dumbasses think I'm joking.