@chuuew: The inventor of rock, paper, scissors must have been an extremely dangerous man if he considered paper a weapon.
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@Mardigroan: Holiday cards, when you care enough to let friends, family, customers & clients see how your handwriting hasn't improved since fourth grade.
@TheGrimKing: Before meeting a hot chick, wish I could talk to the dude who's sick of her bullshit.
@simoncholland: Waiting for everyone in this church service to bow their head in prayer so I can update my fantasy football roster.
@daemonic3: Top causes of divorce: 1. Finances 2. Infidelity 3. Unmet expectations 4. Growing apart 5. Tandem bikes