@NicestHippo: The inventor of the toilet must've had a rough time at his presentation. "Oh here comes Gary with his poop throne idea"
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@KatieBurnett: Your outfit says you work in an office, but your shoes say it might have a pole in it
@ohheyohhihello: Today I drove through a huge puddle that splashed up under my car and laughed to myself as I whispered, "car bidet."
@Goggner: Social services would take the kids away if they saw my house right now. Does anyone have their phone number?