@UNTRESOR: The inventor of the USB cable died recently. They're still trying to figure out which way to put his casket in the ground.
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@rameshsrivats: Happy Dhanteras. If you buy gold today, you'll become rich tomorrow. Except for gold merchants. Who sell gold & become rich today only.
@daemonic3: [1st date] HER: I love the idea of marriage. What are your thoughts on it? ME: [trying to impress her] I have 6 wives
@cameronrbrown: Just one more week until I can finally eat candy out of my socks again.... without looking weird.
@BaconHuffer: I cuss around my kids so they understand proper useage, timing and inflection. Vocabulary is power.