@UNTRESOR: The inventor of the USB cable died recently. They're still trying to figure out which way to put his casket in the ground.
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@rad_milk: im the guy responsible for throwing the chicken in the air for fried chicken commercials. i will never reveal my secret method's
@maebemarbles: *Santa lifts a rug while sweeping and finds a dusty, crumpled note* "Please keep my family safe, love Bruce Wayne." *Santa grows very pale*
@whtedaisy: Hubs: How long has your car been doing that? Me: ? Hubs: The engine smoking at a stoplight? Me: I dont know, I look at my phone at lights.