@UNTRESOR: The inventor of the USB cable died recently. They're still trying to figure out which way to put his casket in the ground.
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@MomofTeen: Customer Service: How does the name appear on your credit card? Me: If i had to guess, I'd say it's 11 pt. Arial bold.
@rockymomax: [kissing at a bar] HER: wanna get out of here? ME: (glances over at the menu and sees they have potato skins) not really