@FREE_FACTS: The iPhone 5 will be able to print bacon
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@dafloydsta: [first date] HER: You smell so good. What are you wearing? ME: *nodding and sniffing myself* Mashed potatoes with gravy.
@Social_Mime: *calls restaurant* Me: Hi is your place a kid friendly restaurant? Host: Of course it is sir *hangs up*
@tweetfaver: hey there delilah, oh shit no i meant vicky babe i promise you're the only one no this is not a hickey ?it's just a bruuuise ?