@FREE_FACTS: The iPhone 5 will be able to print bacon
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@EndhooS: *Wife walks in, the house is trashed* "OMG..we've been burgled" *I jump out of the closet in full hockey gear* HAVE YOU SEEN THE WASP KAREN?
@mynameisntdave: If you want your dog to take a pill: 1. Get a piece of cheese 2. Eat the cheese for energy 3. Get ready to wrestle your dog
@yassinovic89: Women's logic: I went to buy a suit. But i saw a beautiful pair of shoes. So i bought this handbag.
@heymonroe: Fun Prank 1.) Go to Yoga class 2.) Compliment some people on their mats 3.) Unroll 20x25 oriental rug.