@jwoodham: The iPhone 6 looks pretty cool, but it still lets people leave voicemails, so they apparently haven't worked out all the bugs yet.
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@longwall26: God: So I was, all, what if there was a fish made of jelly? Like, jelly but alive and in the sea? LOL [angels look nervously at one another]
@daniellebyers: My 11 year old dumped his girlfriend because she was too "sassy." So I'm guessing my days are numbered.
@TeaAndCopy: My wife said that to make our marriage work, we both need to make sacrifices. I've chosen a goat.
@ericsshadow: 1985: call me on the new line in my room 2000: call me on my mobile flip phone 2015: don't call me