@jwoodham: The iPhone 6 looks pretty cool, but it still lets people leave voicemails, so they apparently haven't worked out all the bugs yet.
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@BoozyMusic: "Good thing I guessed that today was probably a BYOB situation." -me, chaperoning the kindergarten field trip
@ChickenFrecklez: Hubby is trying to get it up...There we go...Ok now it won't go down-oh there it goes...Shit, now it's going back up! Garage door is broken
@SortaSarcastic: Pick up a book, any book. Open to the middle, and read the first paragraph. Make sense? Welcome to Twitter.
@TitansHomer: Operator: 911 Me: My wife is going into labor, what do I do? O: Relax sir, is this her first born? Me: No, this is her husband.