@Cowtuk: The iPhone 7 is water-resistant, has stereo sound and a better camera but it doesn't have that one feature that I want: affordability.
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@jake_lach: My dealer texts to ask if I'm straight and I'm not even sure how that's relevant to our arrangement
@Home_Halfway: SON: Dad what is that? ME: *Trying to remember the name of a whale* Boy that's a sea moose
@KalvinMacleod: ME: my wife eats all the caramel corn and leaves the cheese JUDGE: give this man full custody of the kids ME: no wait they do the same thing