@leathershirts: the iPhone 8 won't even come with headphones you'll have to imagine you're listening to music
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@AbbyHasIssues: (Grabs store intercom) Would whoever dropped the list with “pizza” and “wine” on it in the cart come to the front? We need to be friends.
@Arrogant_Twat: Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
@smedlee: When I lose a follower, I like to pretend they were Taken, then I go to Europe and shoot absolutely everyone.