@leathershirts: the iPhone 8 won't even come with headphones you'll have to imagine you're listening to music
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@aPunch2theJunk: I work with a guy named Rick. I'm pretty sure he spells his name with a silent "P."
@crouton_futon: "Oh shit I murdered someone" "You should turn yourself into the police" "Great idea!" *puts on badge and hat* "Looks like a suicide to me"