@extranapkins: The jerk store called? But, that jerk store burned down ten years ago... on this very night
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@yaboydil: Guess who I ran into today, Billy. "Who, dad?" Your dog, son. I hit your dog with the car.
@KalvinMacleod: HUSBAND 911: what your emergency? ME: my wife hears everything HUSBAND 911: do I? ME: what? HUSBAND 911: what?