@extranapkins: The jerk store called? But, that jerk store burned down ten years ago... on this very night
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@pleatedjeans: U can give out anything on Halloween it doesn't have to be candy last year I gave a kid my cable bill it was awesome he paid it & everything
@JElvisWeinstein: People belittle the internet "talking about a dress" as if we're busy solving problems otherwise.
@dafloydsta: [first date] HER: I like a man who can show his true feelings. ME: *leans in close* I don't care what you like.