@the_mom_dot_com: The joke is on you, fruit flies. We don't even have any fruit.
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@OakHill_: My nine year old stayed home with me today. The time is 11:30 am. She has spoken more words today than I did in December.
@CyborgHanky: [in line for coffee] Me (in my head): hi I'd like a caramel macchiato please. hi can I get a caramel macchiato? hi, I'd like one- Barista: NEXT! Me: Hello, um, I'd like one, uhhh *stumbling* carnival avocado Me (in my head): god dammit