@ShittyComedian: The joke's on you officer. That breathalyzer won't tell you how much cocaine I've snorted tonight.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@vineyille: Me: Just a glass of water Scientist waiter: You mean a glass of... yourself? You see, the body is made up of ok ok sit down I'll bring it
@MythicPicnic: Home alone tonight The fridge is making weird noises I think the beer wants out....
@Home_Halfway: Every time the media has to report on Trump they should misspell his name and call him Mr. Turnip until he loses his mind completely
@JillBidenVeep: Barack: Sign here, and here Joe: And then the adoption is final & you and Michelle are my parents? Barack: No, Joe