@curlycomedy: The Katy Perry song that goes, "You're hot and you're cold," was actually about a microwaveable burrito.
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@POOPSCRUFFIN4U: Church is the worst book club ever. We've been talking about the same book for 2,000 years and most of us still haven't even read it
@iGreenMonk: Natural Disasters are just Mother Nature's way of saying, "How many times I have to tell you to stop making such a mess? Go to your room.."