@Rollinintheseat: The key to house hunting is knowing that the house is more afraid of you than you are of it.
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@causticbob: "He looks just like his grandfather" is a cute thing said about a new baby in most parts of the world. In Alabama,it's more of an accusation
@tinytittays: Driving with me is like being trapped in a tiny karaoke bar that doesn't serve booze and the worst singer won't get off the stage.
@leechee420: $10 says some idiot is gonna hear the word Ebola and think "that'd be a great name for my new baby!"
@what_a_messs: Babe, can u vacuum a Chess board into the carpet again? the guys r here for a lifesize game *guys standing around in armor & kings outfits*