@Rollinintheseat: The key to house hunting is knowing that the house is more afraid of you than you are of it.
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@DadandBuried: I feel like landlords who don't allow dogs but DO allow children don't know very much about children.
@Treememories: Why do the models on the catwalks always look so angry? I would have been very happy to get paid to just walk around in fancy clothes.
@badbanana: Stick around after sticking around after the Thor 2 credits. Very realistic 3D of a theater manager telling you to leave.
@thepunningman: wife: Can't we just buy a bigger catflap? me: [buttering the cat] We're not made of money, Karen