@notittryagain: The labels on prescription bottles are just suggestions, like speed limits.
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@joeljeffrey: I found out blowing in the dogs face makes her stop barking. I tried the same thing on my wife to make her stop yelling and she bit me.
@PretendMaker: *storms onto stage* WHERE IS IT *crowd gasps* WHERE IS THE OXYGEN *crowd continues gasping*
@Fred_Delicious: *approaches girl in bar* *passes right through her* *i've been dead for 73 years*
@AnkCoupleTO: [teen me w/GF in my dad's car] Me: You wanna do it? Her: *giggling* Yes Me: *hears voice whisper no glove, no love* GET OUT OF THE CAR MOM