@Kyle_Lippert: The lady at the massage parlor asked if I wanted a happy ending, I said yes and then she proceeded to tell me the plot of Homeward Bound.
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@gm_cage: I bought theater food once. Long story short my son will no longer be going to college..
@FuckabillyRex: Just apologized to my dog for being a crazy person, and I could tell by the way she didn't respond that she's been thinking it for a while.
@ranndrew: "How'd the date go?" Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.