@JD_KC: The lady helping my wife design a dining room table handed me a note reading "blink if you're being held against your will"
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@NicestHippo: Piracy dates back to the 14th century, when armed criminals boarded ships and viciously watched movies that weren't out yet
@Cajun_Ninja: Met this nice girl at the mall today. Her name was No. and coincidentally her number was also No.
@J_Mainwaring69: *Judge raises hammer* "I SENTENCE YOU TO LIFE" -*defendant chuckles* "I'm already alive you MORON!"