@JD_KC: The lady helping my wife design a dining room table handed me a note reading "blink if you're being held against your will"
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@daniellebyers: My 11 year old dumped his girlfriend because she was too "sassy." So I'm guessing my days are numbered.
@CountOnVic: Kanye deleted all the slander like we didn't have an hour to grab screenshots and make power point presentations
@mishakey: Don't forget to check your backseat for murderers! Haha! No, but seriously bring me a coke it's hot in here.
@MrRamBillings: One time I was so high, my flatscreen fell off the wall and I thought it was just part of the movie.