@JD_KC: The lady helping my wife design a dining room table handed me a note reading "blink if you're being held against your will"
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@CroweJam: Named my hamster Spam so when he dies I can bury him in a little tin coffin with his name on it.
@Dschnoeb: I bet Egyptians were all like "Yo, nobody in history will ever worship and revere cats like we do" and then came the internet.
@curseoffeeling: my whole life consists of people asking me if i’ve seen this movie and me telling them no i haven’t seen that movie and then them telling me i should see that movie and then me telling them i’ll add it to the list but there is no list and i won’t watch that movie