@JD_KC: The lady helping my wife design a dining room table handed me a note reading "blink if you're being held against your will"
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@jonnysun: is nobodey else concerned that 'charlottes web' ends w/ the birth of generations upon generations of hyper-inteligent sentient spider babies
@KeetPotato: [1st day as bank robber] leader: i told you to put tape over their mouths me: [still struggling to find end of the tape] just gimme a second
@Book_Krazy: Whenever I seductively unbutton my pants, I always maintain full eye contact with the waiter so he knows I want more table bread.