@JD_KC: The lady helping my wife design a dining room table handed me a note reading "blink if you're being held against your will"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@robfee: If LeBron is better than Jordan, then explain to me why Bugs Bunny has never asked for his help in a game in space. Can't argue with facts.
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Sir... I know, I know. Why is my dog dri- Cop: WHY IS YOUR DOG DRIVING I threw the ball too far during fetch Cop: Fair enough
@dafloydsta: [marriage counseling] She thinks I make bad decisions "He picked a fight with a raccoon" HE LOOKED LIKE A CRIMINAL, KAREN
@XoMiSsYoX: Told my coworker to shut up or I would slash his tires. He laughed, I laughed. Now I'm by his car with a knife and I can hear sirens. :(