@just1fool: The last beer didn't tell me why life is so confusing but it told me the next one would.
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@PJTLynch: An annoying part of life in the 80s was when you're already late and, once again, you gotta shoo away some sexy lady lying all over your car
@TheBoydP: The best thing about working at my office is that you can literally use as much toilet paper as you want in the restroom.
@ArfMeasures: ME: I was having a juice cleanse between 6 & 8 p.m COP: You don't need an alibi, you're not a suspect ME: I know, I'm just telling everyone