@bffinheels: The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
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@xofreckles: Once, I got pulled over because a cop thought my car was on fire but really it was just my hair flying out the sunroof.
@Book_Krazy: [Boss hands me 12 pages of complaints about my smart-ass remarks] Me: so I guess the whole "we're going paperless" rules dont apply to you?
@OBiiieeee: Son, your mom and I have been fighting a lot lately and we have decided that *dad piledrives mom into the coffee table* we're gonna go pro.