@withanewname: The last time I danced at a party, someone told me I looked like a wildebeest on a frozen lake.
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@thenoahkinsey: *therapist writes in pad* Me: Sometimes I feel like people don't notice me- *therapist jumps* Therapist: SHIT! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?
@KKAlThani: Can't believe Nintendo didn't make a commercial for the Wii where a guy breaks up with a girl by saying "It's not you, It's Wii".
@nachosarah: my new diet is not buying things at the store that make the cashier say wow someone's having a party