@LisaFarted: The last time I twisted the night away it resulted in two law suits and a medicare plan.
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@TheToddWilliams: I wear a ski mask wherever I go but only rob ski resorts. It's quite ingenious really. Let me explain...
@bingowings14: First they came for the people who loaded the dishwasher incorrectly & I did not speak out. Because they do my head in.
@iwearaonesie: 9*picking his nose* wife:Get your finger out of your nose! me [alone in the bedroom] *takes finger out of nose* *whispers* How did she know?