@man_spach: The last time Twitter was down I realized it didn't take 6 hours to poop.
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@chelliet22: Maybe the reason you're not having *sexual intercourse* is because you call it sexual intercourse.
@disaster_dog: if there were a zombie apocalypse i'd save a lot of kids but it would be only because i'd need them later to feed zombies so i can run away
@TheSharona06: I had a beautiful pearl of wisdom to tweet but I dropped it on the ground and one of my dogs ate it. I should have it back in 12 hours or so
@sass_n_ass: No thanks, Winter Olympics. If I wanted to see a bunch of white people playing in the snow, I'd hop on over to Facebook.