@man_spach: The last time Twitter was down I realized it didn't take 6 hours to poop.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@reesespiece_: Funny how whenever I ask someone how a girl I knew is doing, the first thing they say is "married."nLike that's gonna stop me!
@pleatedjeans: [approaches cute girl in library] Yo babe are you Jamaican bc you're Jamaican a lot of noise please keep it down people are trying to read
@Underchilde: If hearing “I love you” was enough, we’d all buy parrots and live happily ever after.
@TravLeBlanc: When the zombie apocalypse comes, we'll be the last to go because we never leave our houses.