@Book_Krazy: The lazy river is my favorite ride at this amusement park. "Ahhhhh!" I scream as I float in a giant circle, not spilling my drink at all
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@HiddleDeeDee: Eight hours into this family road trip I realized my lifelong vow to avoid illegal drugs was stupid.
@ShoutingGoddess: My 4 yr old: I wish I was a nurse. Me: You can be one day, if you want. Him: *sadly shaking head* No. I'm going to be a Power Ranger.
@juliussharpe: Oscar Pistorius has the worst alibi ever. Who the hell would break into your house to rob your bathroom?
@nathanfielder: Experiment: text your parents "got 2 grams for $40" then right after "Sorry ignore that txt. Not for you" Then tweet pic of their response.