@Reel2Dialog2: The Lion King is my favorite movie about how having a karate wielding monkey can completely change your life.
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@sad_tree: [After Big Jewel Heist] "We did it! We got away! Everything went to plan" ME(holding my grappling hook I didn't get to use): Yea it was ok
@TheMichaelRock: The best salesperson ever was the first woman to shave off her eyebrows and draw them back on, then convince a second woman to do it.
@Reverend_Scott: Me: Get the tires rotated?? Don't they rotate enough while the car is moving? Mechanic: Omg you're right! What a scam. I truly apologize.
@Social_Mime: When I want to trim down my friend's list on FB I give my opinion and let nature do the rest.