@TweetsByTheTony: The Lion King is probably my favorite children's movie about running away from your problems until you're strong enough to kill your uncle.
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@Black__Elvis: My boss told me if I kept showing up late he'd give me a pink slip and I was like, how does he know about my tastes in women's underwear?
@ErrenMichaels:  *gets rescue dog with the idea that I will excercise more*  *dog now also fat*
@RorynotRoy: The girl that just walked by gave my dog a double take like she thought she might've gone to high school with him.