@NasriAtallah: The little-known fourth major monotheistic religion...
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@ilovepie84: "Sure the Decepticons are trying to kill us, but at least the price of fuel is reasonable" -Optimistic Prime.
@ruinedpicnic: [Friend opens Christmas present] Me: It's a lie detector Friend: Oh... I love it Me: (whispering) we'll see
@daemonic3: I'm going to run errands, need anything? "Yes, some new light bulbs" Why, our current bulbs are too heavy? "And a good divorce lawyer"