@NasriAtallah: The little-known fourth major monotheistic religion...
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@MikeCanRant: Summer Safety Tip: Before swimming in the ocean, cover yourself in gluten to lower the chances of being eaten by health conscious sharks.
@Cheeseboy22: I always make it a point to become friends with babies. That's free cake once a year for a lifetime.
@noogscorner: A young Lil' Wayne sits alone typing lyrics into Word 97 when a cartoon paperclip suddenly appears on-screen. [Did you mean "digger"?]
@LizHackett: I miss the days before the internet, when you didn't know some person's every awful thought until they died and you cleaned out their attic.