@kirthyiyer: The location of a pimple on your body is directly correlated to how much your body hates you.
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@Dutch_50: I'm at that age where I can't simply pick something up, I need to first knock it over and then pick it up.
@Knob_ish: I see the 'pet rocks' are back and fighting too! *Rolls in 6ft diameter granite boulder* *Folds arms, taps foot*
@Moi_RaRa: Ok don't judge me, but sometimes I wonder what color does a smurf turn into if I choke it.
@phaggots: [teenage girl reading horoscope tweets] "Scorpio's drink water when they're thirsty" OMG THIS IS SO ME