@Dutch_50: I'm at that age where I can't simply pick something up, I need to first knock it over and then pick it up.

@Knob_ish: I see the 'pet rocks' are back and fighting too! *Rolls in 6ft diameter granite boulder* *Folds arms, taps foot*

@Moi_RaRa: Ok don't judge me, but sometimes I wonder what color does a smurf turn into if I choke it.

@phaggots: [teenage girl reading horoscope tweets] "Scorpio's drink water when they're thirsty" OMG THIS IS SO ME

@texasstalkermom: You find my yoga pants distracting... ...would you like me to take them off?