@kirthyiyer: The location of a pimple on your body is directly correlated to how much your body hates you.
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@SortaBad: How to sleep: 1. Lay down 2. Dim lights 3. Dwell about literally every mistake you've made in your life for 6 hours 4. Rest for 9 minutes
@Carbosly: When people ask me how old I am, I always say 45. They all think I look AMAZING for my age.
@JohnHilsen: The real reason Batman only comes out at night is because he'd get disastrous tanlines wearing that mask during the day.