@mstluvstrinkets: The look on my husbands face while watching a Victoria's Secret commercial tells me exactly where all my catalogs went.
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@joeljeffrey: My first workout back at the gym was great... I did 15 mins of cardio, 10 mins on the defibrillator, and then 3 days in the hospital.
@CornerPubRon: Halloween is without question the easiest time of year to kill somebody and just leave their body decomposing on your porch for a month
@jergarl: Pay attention to your kids... Because one day he will stuff a sugar free gummy bear in your mouth that he rubbed on a cat.