@JaggedLandon: The Lord moves in mysterious ways but you don’t have to. Please use your blinker.
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@smedlee: APOCALYPSE SURVIVOR: "We must conserve resources. Only people with useful skills! What's yours?" ME: "I write and want to dir--" "GUNSHOT*
@nikkithecanuck: Anytime I get something stuck in my throat, I use beer. I call this the Heineken maneuver
@UncleDuke1969: Wife: Your life insurance premium paid up? Me: Yeah. Wife: Good. Me: Why? Wife: No reason. Me: ... Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: Here, taste this.