@Token_Geezer: The loudest noise a child can make from another room is silence
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@robyn_vo: According to my cousin's diploma, he graduated from an "Institute of Fine Farts" because I just made an adjustment to it with a sharpie.
@Ivsy01: You know when motorcyclists give a little wave to each other, I do that when I see someone else eating in their car.
@Brianhopecomedy: *wife phones* "Hi!" "Hi! Did you clean the house?" "Uhh...YUP!" "OK, I'm coming home. Need anything?" "Yes, about 2 hours."